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In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
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A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
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Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
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The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
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There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
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A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
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How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

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